Trying to write again, this is the 15th attempt

I don't get why it is so hard for me to start writing seriously again.


I remember used to love writing.

Back in school (which like a gazillion years ago), i entered all kinds of writing competitions and got my work published in the school magazine.

No bullshit. I've tried looking for any bit of remembrance of my forgotten interest but to no avail.
I think my mum threw it all away because my cat peed on it.

In fact i was a decent writer. (not to the standard of the 'First Malaysian to win something of the something Asia Pacific bla bla in Fukuoka, Japan' yuck! but decent!)


At the age of 14, my ambition was to become a journalist.


But then, after PMR i was forced into pure science class.

I applied to change to arts but they didnt allowed since they wanted to open 4 pure science classes. Out of 499 students only 20+ got straight A's. So they just shovelled as much students as they can into science classes. Being a smart-ass rebel at that time i knew something was wrong with this school. And when i said i'm not taking science just because i got all A's, the teacher got mad and scolded me for trying to 'teach' someone who was older. There and then i decided i cannot take it. If i were to be forced learning science, let it be in a good school. Not where clueless students were forced to learn pure science.

I applied into MRSM and got in. It turns out to be at that time one of the best MRSM in Malaysia where more smarter-ass students from all around the country pooled together.

so you can imagine the ego of such elite school with richer-smarter-ass- students. I fit-in fine but i learned that i had to study like crazy just to be 'ordinary'.

With all the pressure of being farrr away from home and studied things i didnt prefer, i lost all my enthusiasm, interest and self confidence that i owned back home.

I was so focused on getting on with the flow. and i did.

Ok that was a long babble isn't it? not on purpose though..continue.

Anyways, i can do this. Just need to practice and read more books.

In fact, my job requires me to read a lottt! so i must not be that bad,right? no?

Should i just write normal stuff? 

about things?
about life?
about people?
about work?
about MBA class?
about how i hate things that don't go my way?
or maybe about who are my friends and who are not my friends anymore? 

Yea right, i'll go crawl in a hole and die.


I'll rant about my idealistic and realistic views of how I see things.


Then give my utter judgement.

wow. don't we all love judging?

Just remember to use sharp words, with long multiple subject sentence.

to influence reader in thinking i am indeed a smart-ass writer.

Right.


We'll see.


Good night.