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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Dealing with 'aliens'

While many graduates my age struggling to cope with crazy bosses from hell, or weird colleagues from whatever planet they hailed from I'm glad my first few experiences were rather pleasant.

So whenever they talked about how stressful work life is, i just nod along trying to put myself in their shoes.

One of my friends complained that she and her boss speaks different language. (Being my friend speaking Earth language and her female chinese boss speaks planet Zog's)

Either my friend doesn't listen or her boss believes that the way to maximize productivity is to terrify her staff.

She said she'd be better off chatting to an alien who's just dropped from planet Zog than the person whom she's supposed to obey between 9 to 5.

I get her. Although never have I personally experienced anything of that sort, I remember similar situations happened to my colleague while I was doing my internship. We worked in the same company, but under different manager.

The (happen to be female, again) manager communicates by threat and sarcasm. She threw things and smacked her desk. (so often that the building is in danger of collapse)

Viewing from a professional light, she is just totally driven, and she thinks and expects everyone else should be a workoholic too. (with no life especially if you're single. You shouldn't have life outside of work) She found fault with everything her subordinate did. If things weren't done on time, she'd blow up yelling at those fresh graduates about how useless they are.

Yes, she used bad words like 'bodoh'. she even said its her mistakes to bring in fresh graduates who cannot do anything right. By right she means 'her way'.

The whole atmosphere changed. This bunch of enthusiastic, high spirited newbies turned depressed and scared.

There was no friendly chat or laughter, at their side of the wall, mine was totally fine. and people began leaving. My friend managed to stuck it out for a while, but he was extremely relieved when he was offered another job. even it is in Labuan! He left KL and I started working with my current company. I don't know what happen to her now and how many staffs had enter and leave her department.

She is still the boss and she will get what she wants. If i have to deal with those rare species, (oh please please God have mercy and never let that happen to me) I will straighten up my thoughts first. 'Is it really my fault? did i screw up that badly or she is just being her?

After being precise of what to say before I open my mouth and pray hard that she's in a terrrrrific mood and calculate every anticipated risks that might bestowed upon me, I will face up to her. 

We just HAVE to..HAVE! unless you want to be submissive for ages, then swing into aggression or peculiar psychotic act.

Oh that reminds me i have the bestest story to tell about my psycho-crazy-smelly colleague, but that have to wait until next time.

As long as you remember never to challenge her authority in public, or approach her late in the day. (when the veins in her head look like its going to popped or her hair is so messy you can only think of Albert Einstein).

You can yell in your HEAD as loud as you want, "YOU CRAZY BITCH, DO YOU WANT TO KILL US ALL WITH STRESS AND HEART ATTACK?"

but make sure it comes out something like "I respect your opinion but could you consider that when you shout, it makes me nervous and less effective".

Alternatively, if your earthly gestures are not well received by aliens, give her a good slap and resign on the spot.

She wouldn't be THE BOSS forever and ever. Let her be. Karma will come and bite her back in the ass.

Although resigning like that won't look good in your CV, so what? Be carefree once in a while. We are still to young to care that much.

p/s: Not advisable for married people with families and responsibilities. If thats you, just suck it up and sulk while actively look for new job.

cheers.

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